New Trick for an Old Dog

They say you can’t teach on old dog new tricks. So explain this.

I hate tomatoes – fresh ones anyway. I love sun-dried tomatoes. I love stewed tomatoes – especially in soup. Ketchup is my friend. Salsa is awesome. However, fresh, raw, sliced tomatoes trigger my gag reflex. They always have. Because of this I have sworn off such offerings for nigh on 50 years. I've just slipped the nasty things off to the side.

Until….

I started making fresh salsa about a year ago. It’s actually more like pico de gallo (or ‘teresa de gallo’ as my daughter’s call it). But I’ve played around with ingredients and seasonings until I achieved perfection. Turns out the best and freshest version has diced, raw tomatoes in it. Not too hard to accept because the nasty, slimy centers are still removed. It’s not like I started liking tomatoes all of as sudden.

Until….

We went to visit my son and his wife and she served us BLT’s. (Bacon-Lettuce-Tomato Sandwiches.) I had been watching my husband obsess over BLT’s all month. He had made it look so delicious I had told myself I was going to try one next time I was offered one. And suddenly, I was being offered one. So, I ate it – and guess what?

I LOVED IT!!! My husband has made me three more in the past two weeks. Isn’t that laugh-out-loud funny?

So yes, you can teach an old-dog new tricks! You can make a new discovery every day. You can face your fears a little bit at a time until you master them. You can delight in being wrong!

I’m hungry…I think I’ll go have a BLT.

Wind in My Hair

Life is a roller coaster! Which is good, because I love roller-coasters! Not the new-fangled loop-the-loop numbers mind you. Nope, I love the old-school, rickety, wooden ones. I love the click-click-clack-click sound they make as you are being hauled to the top. I love the wind as it zips through my hair and the stomach lurching drop of that first descent. I love the wobble at the curves. I remember once I went to King's Dominion in Virginia with some friends. They've got some awesome wooden roller-coasters we rode over and over and over again. That night, while I lay in bed with my eyes closed, I re-lived every screaming twist and turn. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep with a smile on my face and the feel of the wind in my hair.

So yeah...life is a roller coaster. The past few months have certainly been illustrative of that. We've had all sorts of multi-generational major surgeries in our family that have forced us to face fear in the face and let go and trust God. We've lost my husband's feisty, life-loving, big-hearted, incredibly supportive mother. We've moved a daughter into her college dorm, traveled every other week since January, and moved furniture (and 2 pianos) all over the West. And I finished out my first semester as a full-time college student - with straight A's.

I'm definitely feeling the wind in my hair!

I confess it's gotten to be a bit taxing. Okay, let's just say I fully embraced "whoa is me" for a minute or two. It's been hard. I allowed myself to feel bone tired and soul-weary. I keep saying I'm looking forward to "normal." But every time I do, there's this little voice in my head that whispers, "This is normal." So, if this is "normal" then I better sit back and enjoy the ride! Because, I'm just going to keep on riding it over and over again.

So, I've got a few goals I wanted to throw out to the world. I figure if I scream it

from the top of the ride I'll hear it screaming back at me in the whistling wind of my next descent.

I am going to appreciate the click-click-clack sound of change. I am going to

thrill with the view from the top and embrace the stomach dropping thrills of the descent. I am going to scream - not with fear - but with the pure exhilaration of life. I am going to run to the front of the line to keep on riding the ride. And when I close my eyes at night and re-live every twist and turn I am going to fall asleep with a smile on my face as I remember the feel of the wind in my hair.

Trails in the Mist

" In wildness is the preservation of the world."
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend and I recently bemoaned the fact the world is growing too loud. Not the actual planet - the society we live in. There is so much noise around us. Everywhere you turn media is pounding into your head. From restaurants offering up the latest news via a bevy of flat screen TVs to the cell phones tweeting in our pockets and everything in between there is noise and interference and static. We wondered how anyone could feel joy or peace when they are so removed from the beauties of nature and the wonders of good conversation.

Later, my daughter informed me the people around her were fighting via text messages...while sitting in the same room! I'm all for utilizing the marvels of technology, but give me a break! When was the last time you turned everything off and went outside? It's pretty phenomenal out there - give it a try!

"I am well again, I came to life in the cool winds
and crystal waters of the mountains..."
- John Muir

Getting away from the noise is only part of the reason for seeking a respite in nature. Nature renews us, lifts us, empowers us to face another day. We walked to this water fall one summer day in June. There are those who would say the day was ruined because of the rain and fog. I was entranced. The renewing power around me was tangible. My heart grew light, my skin was caressed, my eyes were gifted with wonder after wonder. My soul cried out with the desire to spend more time than I could allow.

"...It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of the air, that emanation from the old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit." - Robert Louis Stevenson

The day ended far too soon. I vowed I would return. Not perhaps to that exact place, but I will return to the light and shadow of the deep wood. I will walk again under the healing embrace of the trees. I will revel in the pristine blue of the sky and dance in the rain when it comes again. I will fill my heart with images to carry me through the noise and confusion of some future day. I will do all of this.

Will you?

What Would You Do?

I watched a powerful video today about the rapidity of shift in our lives. Check it out at http://www.flixxy.com/technology-and-education-2008-alt.htm then ask yourself this:

What if it all ENDS tomorrow?

If the world-wide-web crashed, if TV and satellite and all technology ceased, what would you do? Imagine looking up from your blackened screen into the fear-filled eyes of the masses. Would your thumbs twitch? Would your family sit in stunned silence?

What would you do?

A young mother asked me that very thing recently. She wanted to cause me concern about the loss of data I have stored online. Things like photographs and online books and more. I believe she expected me to panic. Actually, I found the idea rather invigorating. Without a moment’s hesitation I responded, “Wouldn’t that be wonderful! Sure images and data would be lost, but no failed technology can rob me of my stories unless I stop sharing them. My life’s memories are intact as long as I take the time to reflect on them and share them. If the internet failed, I’d be the expert on hand to help everyone learn what I already know - storytelling is the essence of humanity.”

I went on to glory in the idea of families sitting around the dinner table talking. I waxed nostalgic about the return of visiting neighbors clustered on front porches, and the whispered gossip sessions over back fences. The young mother’s eyes got a little dreamy. “I’ve never experienced any of that, wow, what would that be like?”

“Why don’t you find out,” I replied, “In fact, I dare you to try.”

Sometimes, I feel like Don Quixote chasing windmills when I talk about storytelling. There’s been a renaissance over the past 30 years or so in regards to the importance of storytelling. Storytelling festivals have popped up all over the country. Professional storytellers can be found in every state in the union. In deed, storytelling has come to be recognized as an art form. I embrace and applaud all of that. Yet, storytelling as a life skill and core principle of family togetherness has slipped through the cracks.

Family time has devolved into a rush of timelines and orchestration of schedules. Meals are grabbed on the run, or in front of the TV. Communications have collapsed into texted chore charts and check ins.

What if it all ENDS tomorrow?

Do you ever find yourself feeling sad or lonely in a crowded room? Have you had days when you realized no one looked you in the eye, or stopped long enough to listen to how you really are? Do you ever feel like life is zooming by so fast you can’t catch your breath, more or less remember a single thing about yesterday?

Stop. Breathe. Close your eyes and take a moment...

What if we all decided to take a stand? What if we reclaim the family dinner and return to being fully present when our children want to talk about what happened at school and who they have a crush on and who broke their heart? What if, instead of firing off an angry email to those who we disagree with, or who have hurt the ones we love, we sat down and really talked? What if we declared technology free zones once a month, once a week, or once a day where whatever we did had to involve the sharing of story?

Imagine the impact of introducing the up and coming generation to the indescribable joy of listening to some one else’s story.

In a world where WW II vets are dying at the rate of 1000 per day we can’t afford to imagine, we have to act. Think of all that is being lost each time the coffin lid closes over the wrinkled old face of someone people have stopped listening to.

I’m not suggesting we stop technological progress. I’m not presuming we can block the shift. I’m suggesting we make sure we don’t discard our human connectivity in the midst of it all.

After all…the power has gone out before, it will go out again. Will you be ready with a good story?

I can help.

Contest Winner Announced!

Congratulations to Carolyn Stearns! Winner of the "Family Chat" card contest. The winner was chosen through random selection. (i.e. my 11 month old grand-daughter pulled a winner from a pile of numbered slips of paper in my hand.)

All of the entries were excellent and I thoroughly enjoyed them. (You can read them too - see the comments from my post: The Most Important Things in Life) Thanks to everyone who entered. Keep checking back, I'll be launching another contest soon.

Remember as you go through your day that things my not be as they appear. Take this old house for example. At least, I always assumed it was an old house, until I actually went inside. Then I discovered it was an old school. Former students (or their children and grand children) have visited the abandoned structure over the years and scribbled memories on the walls. There are tales of children riding to school mounted three & four to a horse, or x-country skiing to school in the winter, there's random poetry, regret for neglect, and yearning for bygone days. I've always been entranced by this structure and it's unique location, but once I knew part of its story I cared even more. (You can see more pictures at my post: The Power of a Personal Tale)

Look around...are there people or places you pass every day that you think you know? Have you stopped moving long enough to learn their story? Make today the day you step beyond the assumptions!

What's Most Important in Life?

There's nothing that warms my heart more than shared laughter and smiles amongst those I love.

Yet, sometimes the trials of life dampen or block the joyous moments. That's when I roll up my sleeves and take charge!

It happened last summer. My daughters and I decided it was high time we got their father into the woods. His medical conditions made this a bold goal, but we were determined. We loaded up the camping gear and Dad, and headed for the forest. There would be no hiking or boating this trip, but that didn't mean we couldn't find laughter and joy!

We were essentially grounded, so we built a nice fire and sat around it instead. "What are we going to do now? This could get real boring, real fast," our patient declared. Undaunted we pulled the "Family Chat" cards out and started asking questions. To say our patient was resistant would be an understatement. But we would not be swayed...it only took a few cards before he got into the spirit of it. We were 50 cards, three stacks of wood, and well past midnight when we finally stopped laughing and sharing enough to call it a night. It's an evening we all reflect back on fondly. A night filled with story and discovery, laughter, warmth and joy.

I want everyone to have such moments! Let's start right now. Look at my previous post. There's a picture of a chat card - take a moment to reflect on the question then post your response right here. Don't forget your email address and you'll be entered to win a set of "Family Chat" cards for yourself! Hurry - this contest ends March 17th.

I can't wait to read your stories!

Family Chat - Rediscovering What I Know!

Have you ever noticed that we continually forget and relearn and forget and relearn?

This is the tale of such a journey.

I know storytelling is the life blood of families. I know we make a better world each time we take a moment to listen to the memories of the people we love. But sometimes, the busy crazy moments of life get in the way. And sometimes, life takes your breath away and you don't know what to say.

That's how I felt last week. We almost lost my mother. There were a few days when I wondered how much of her we would be blessed to keep. There were a few days when she didn't recognize us or understand what was going on around her. Blessedly, that situation changed and she began to respond and remember. That's when I forgot everything I knew. I was at a loss for words! What do you say to a loved one after such an experience? I found myself staring more than I was talking.

Then I remembered the Family Chat cards in my bag. I pulled them out and suddenly the awkward silence was filled with memory - her memories.

I'm not claiming they cured her, but I am claiming they cured me! As soon as the warmth of cherished memory cascaded over my soul I regained my footing, I caught my breath and I listened with delight.

Susan Klein reminds us, "If you were stripped of all you own, the one thing you would still have would be the stories of your life. Knowing that means also knowing that our life stories are sacred possessions."

There's no time like the present - start listening and paying attention to the stories of life found in your family - start honoring those sacred possessions!