Sunday, April 18, 2010

Wind in My Hair


Life is a roller coaster! Which is good, because I love roller-coasters! Not the new-fangled loop-the-loop numbers mind you. Nope, I love the old-school, rickety, wooden ones. I love the click-click-clack-click sound they make as you are being hauled to the top. I love the wind as it zips through my hair and the stomach lurching drop of that first descent. I love the wobble at the curves. I remember once I went to King's Dominion in Virginia with some friends. They've got some awesome wooden roller-coasters we rode over and over and over again. That night, while I lay in bed with my eyes closed, I re-lived every screaming twist and turn. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep with a smile on my face and the feel of the wind in my hair.

So yeah...life is a roller coaster. The past few months have certainly been illustrative of that. We've had all sorts of multi-generational major surgeries in our family that have forced us to face fear in the face and let go and trust God. We've lost my husband's feisty, life-loving, big-hearted, incredibly supportive mother. We've moved a daughter into her college dorm, traveled every other week since January, and moved furniture (and 2 pianos) all over the West. And I finished out my first semester as a full-time college student - with straight A's.

I'm definitely feeling the wind in my hair!

I confess it's gotten to be a bit taxing. Okay, let's just say I fully embraced "whoa is me" for a minute or two. It's been hard. I allowed myself to feel bone tired and soul-weary. I keep saying I'm looking forward to "normal." But every time I do, there's this little voice in my head that whispers, "This is normal." So, if this is "normal" then I better sit back and enjoy the ride! Because, I'm just going to keep on riding it over and over again.

So, I've got a few goals I wanted to throw out to the world. I figure if I scream it
from the top of the ride I'll hear it screaming back at me in the whistling wind of my next descent.

I am going to appreciate the click-click-clack sound of change. I am going to
thrill with the view from the top and embrace the stomach dropping thrills of the descent. I am going to scream - not with fear - but with the pure exhilaration of life. I am going to run to the front of the line to keep on riding the ride. And when I close my eyes at night and re-live every twist and turn I am going to fall asleep with a smile on my face as I remember the feel of the wind in my hair.